This was really my starting point and what drew me to Hratch in the first instance. As painful as it was living through all those empty and utterly miserable moments, it is my depression that has saved me and brought me to this point.
From where I am now, I view my past depressions with gratitude and respect.
Some view it solely as a clinical thing that is in the genes or a disease that can only be treated with strong drugs. To believe this is to make excuses never to recover, and to block out the powerful cry for help that the mind is trying to bring to your attention. The kind of way people treat you as a depressive keeps you in this mindset. To change is uncomfortable. I know this because I have suffered depressions, similar to many people I know. I clung to the same habits as they. When I have learnt to create order, and change the way I perceived the world around me and my place and understanding within it, I changed my depressions forever. Friends saw it happen, listened to my explanation, but did not want to try the same for themselves. They have not moved on. Apparently it's different for me, or they're doing quite well at the moment, or their doctor says it's dangerous to come off the anti-depressants (I've been on them a couple of times in the past and taken myself off them, thinking they weren't getting to the core of the problem. Coming off them wasn't dangerous.) We all have personal choice.
Depression is something to be worked through with patience and understanding. When we are depressed, our mind has closed down our interest in the things around us, desperate for us to resolve some internal problem. If we tune in, by focus and writing, our mind will spit out what it is that we need to resolve.
This is where Hratch works. We tell him our concerns and questions, and he gives us an answer. This answer shifts our understanding, and if we take it on board and do as he suggests, the depression goes away. If the situation arises again, it cannot bring us down because our understanding is different this time. And so it goes on like the sprung-loaded canteen plate dispenser. All the while getting easier and lighter.
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